Intended Parents have reached a pivotal moment in their family creation process when they make the decision to go forth with Surrogacy. As a decision is reached, many questions arise. This is natural, and with the questions, uneasy feelings can surface. This is where working with an agency can ease that overwhelming feeling of whatever enters the IPs’ hearts and the minds.
While this is occurring on the IP side, the Surrogate has already gone through a small journey of her own. When a woman wants to become a Surrogate, it is not all that easy. There are many requirements that must be met before a woman can qualify as a Gestational Carrier. It is a common belief that just because a woman enjoys being pregnant and is a mother, Surrogacy would be an easy way to earn some money.
This is true only when you don’t consider everything that has to occur prior to her applying. The fact that she applies does not guarantee that she will be accepted. Once accepted she must complete a medical, psychological, and social profile that is scrutinized by the Surrogacy Agency that she has chosen to work with. Once the profile is complete and approved, it is shared with IPs that the Surrogacy Agency believes will match.
If a woman has gone through all the medical, psychological, and social steps to be accepted as a Surrogate and has been matched with Intended Parents… this Surrogate deserves to be trusted.
What does this mean?
1. Surrogates have been through pregnancy before; IPs (in most cases) have not. This is why they resorted to Surrogacy in the first place. When the Gestational Carrier confirms that the embryo transfer has been successful, the IPs can rest assured that the Surrogate has it under control. In most cases, the Surrogate will know more than the IPs do. An Omega Family Surrogate has the support of the Omega Family Global Case Managers and medical team at her side 24/7.
Why is this important?
It is important because as much as the IPs would want to share information about being pregnant, and recommend what their Gestational Carrier should eat or what she should do, the Surrogate knows best. She knows what her body needs, and what she is capable or not capable of doing. The IPs must remember that she has been through this before and they can place their trust in her to carry their baby to full term.
2. The Surrogacy Agency has her back and those of the IPs as well. Many of the IPs come from other countries, and they may or may not speak the Surrogate’s language. Many IPs come from Eastern Europe or from China, so if an interpreter is needed, when the Surrogate is an Omega Surrogate, Omega Family Surrogates will arrange for the interpreter to be present for conversations.
Omega Family Surrogates have a library of informational blogs and infograms that serves as a resource center for both the Surrogate and IPs regarding questions that they may have about anything that involves the Surrogacy Journey. Another very important resource is the Case Managers; both the IPs and the Surrogate have one. If the Surrogate does not feel well, or if the IPs have questions on what the pregnancy entails, they can always contact their Case Manager and have their questions answered.
3. Trust that she will respect your Communication Agreement. When Intended Parents are matched with their Gestational Carrier, rules are set regarding how to communicate. Both the IPs and the Gestational Carrier should feel free to say if something is ok or not; boundaries must be set. The frequency of these communications as well as the way they wish to communicate are all taken into account. For example, there may be Surrogate – IP relationships preferring a video conference once a week to talk about how the week went. There are others in which the IPs prefer constant text messages about how their GC’s day went and how she is feeling. This basic rule-setting is fundamental for a clear and beneficial relationship between the IPs and Surrogate. The IPs must trust that the Surrogate will provide them with the information how and when they need it.
Another fundamental part of the IP-Surrogate relationship is the connection created between them. They must feel comfortable with each other and have a good communication system. This connection has to be based on trust—trust that expectations will be met because they have been clearly defined and communicated, and that both parties have shown how they will meet these expectations.
Omega Family Global can serve as a great support in this process because they serve as professional consultants with the backing of the many successful relationships they have already managed. So even if the IPs or the Surrogate have no experience whatsoever, they can rest assured that the professionalism and experience of their surrogacy agency will support them every step of the way.
Once limits are addressed and defined, the relationship should go forth smoothly. There is no right or wrong way to develop a relationship; there is only mutual understanding and the knowledge that everyone is different. Multiple-time surrogates can tell you that their interactions with each set of IPs change for each pregnancy. This is natural and part of the process, nothing to be worried about.
Trust is a two-way street. It is understood and basic that the Gestational Carrier be trusted to take care of the baby and take care of herself to guarantee a safe pregnancy for the baby. The Surrogate must also comply with the requirements of the Intended Parents so that they feel that they are included in the development of their baby. It is imperative that both parties keep their side of the bargain so that trust can be built, maintained in benefit for both parties, but most of all, for the baby.
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