Jim and Terry have a beautiful marriage. They met at a work convention in New York, and although they lived miles apart, social media and weekend trips were key until they moved in together and decided to live in California. When they married, they bought a house in a good school district because they wanted to start a family very soon. Jim and Terry became very active in their community, they became leaders for kids’ groups, camps, and a spiritual congregation, all the while advancing in their careers.
Time passed and passed, and they could not become pregnant. They knew that becoming pregnant was something that could take time, so they took it lightly. Little by little they began to realize that it was not happening. Many people in the community offered assistance by recommending different alternatives. Jim and Terry took the time to research adoption, they looked into children in foster care, but every time they wanted to go through with it, something happened. It just did not seem to work.
They went forward with IVF; noting that there were a lot of clinics, they chose one close to their home. After a couple of unsuccessful attempts, the doctor recommended they look into Surrogacy. He gave them a list of different Surrogacy Agencies to look into. Although Surrogacy was fairly familiar due to their involvement in fertility forums, they decided to look into it closely.
They did their online research and found that a lot of the helpful information came from blogs and websites that provided answers to their questions. They noticed that they had a lot going for them because they already had their embryos from the multiple times they had tried Invitro, and they were thankfully living in state where gestational surrogacy as permitted. Terry found an event for Surrogates and potential Surrogates in her area, so she decided to join in. If they were considering Surrogacy, it was important for her to find out more, and get answers to thier questions.
The event took place at a local restaurant. To her surprise she found that both men and women were there. She felt kind of sheepish for not having brought Jim along. As she first walked up to the table, she felt a bit out of place because she was not a Surrogate, she was not planning to be one, but she did want to know more about how it worked.
The “Mommy Party” as Terry soon found out they were called, was filled with warmth and honest caring between the members. Terry soon met what was called the Surrogate Liaison, a staff member from the Surrogate Agency who had been a Surrogate multiple times. Terry decided to listen, and she found that many of her questions were answered as well as questions of the Surrogates who attended. Terry noticed that these women were familiar with each other, and that they had initiated a special type of bond. Although Terry had a different purpose than the rest of the participants, she felt welcomed and well received.
She constantly texted her husband telling him about what she was learning and for him to ask her questions that she could pose at this Surrogate get-together. Jim wanted to know if as Intended Parents they could choose their Surrogate, or if the agency did it for you. He also wanted to know how the Intended Parents would be protected if the Surrogate wanted to keep the baby (he had heard about this happening before).
That night, Jim and Terry went over the “Mommy Party” experience. She told him about how she felt comfortable with this agency because you could tell that the Surrogates were supported, that they were taken care of. She had also gotten open and honest answers to her questions, as well as direction to blogs, e-books, and other resources.
She had felt good about the experience and she wanted to consider that agency for their Surrogacy Experience. With this agency in mind, Jim and Terry realized that a lot of the information that they had already researched came from this agency, and that they were considered a leader in the field. This gave them more security and assurance that this was the organization they wanted to work with.
Terry learned from her contact with the Surrogates that the story behind the Intended Parents was very important to establish the connection between the Intended Parent and the Surrogate. This connection had to be a heartfelt one. The connection between them and the Surrogate had to feel like family. So Jim and Terry sat down together, filled out their Intended Parents’ questionnaire, and attached to it, they sent a note to their special Surrogate, thus beginning their Surrogacy Journey.
To Our Surrogate
We are but mother and father in waiting.
Our children have been in our hearts since the moment we started dating.
With them always in mind, we bought our house close to school,
but without them our house seems empty; it seems almost cruel.
We dream of our holidays together, eating wonderful food and laughing under the tree,
We want to see our family grow; we want to see our children succeed.
We have not lost hope, and in you we wish to find
exactly what we are looking for, someone compassionate and kind.
Help us Bring our Family Moments to Life,
By becoming our Surrogate and put an end to our strife.