In the United States of America, infertility has become more common that it was a generation ago. Having a family after unsuccessful attempts for pregnancy can be a difficult and frustrating process, but it is also a choice.
The result :
We become parents! We now bring our family dream to our family reality!
It is common that the discussion on infertility does not become present in a person’s life until they personally are affected by it. Sexual education is more about how to prevent a pregnancy than how to achieve one. Men and women, girls and boys learn that there are many ways a couple can enjoy an active sex life without becoming pregnant. There are also studies on defining weather or not using certain birth control methods can hinder the chances of a women to have children later in life. If a couple faces infertility, no matter why it occurred, then understanding the different ways a couple can choose to create their family is important.
Let’s have a that conversation
Let’s talk about concieving naturally. What do we know? Before birth control came along, sexually active couples would have a child and the woman would assume her cultural role as the person who would bear the child and take care of the one or many children she had. The man was the one who provided shelter and food. If a woman could not bear a child, the man would have a child with another woman, and then adopt the child with his wife.
After birth control, women began to decide when and with whom she wanted to have children. She could control this by the different methods that became available as the need and cultural acceptance of birth control became part of a public culture. Birth control also allowed women (especially pre-adolescent and adolescent ages) to engage in sexual activity without having to become mothers when they were not prepared to do so.
If a couple who was sexually exclusive with each other did not get pregnant, they had the option to adopt a baby. There have always been children who were either left at religious institutions, hospitals, or given to orphanages and were available for adoption. The childless couple would go to these places and take a child home, including them within their family. The reasons for adoption are personal and very private, but many people do adopt even when the adopted child has a medical condition.
The need and the desire of having children that are biologically related to the parents is a human yearning that is very important to certain Intended Parents, for either personal or cultural reasons. There are some places in the world that if the child is not biologically related to their parents, they will not be entitled to the family heritage or to family traditions. When heritage and tradition are two core values within a society, adoption is not a family creating option to be considered.
Invitro fertilization is as medically assisted child creating option that turned into a solution for these couples. The child may not have been conceived naturally, but the genetic information that make up the child, do belong to the mother and father. When the embryo is formed and then implanted into the mother’s uterus there is a hope for the birth of a biological child. This means that the family bloodline will be preserved and the family will be accepted into the society to which the parents belong.
What happens if the mother’s body cannot carry a child to full term?
This is where Surrogacy comes in. The mother may not be able to carry the baby to full term, but another women could. There are many things to be considered when Surrogacy is the family creation option of choice. The safest and secure way to find a Surrogate is through a professional and legal Surrogacy Agency. This agency will find a Surrogate who has a proven track record that she can hold the baby, and therefore does have the capacity to birth the Intended Parents’ child. As the process moves along, the embryo is implanted into the Gestational Carrier’s (or Surrogate’s) womb, and hopefully a healthy child will be born, making the Intended Parents’ family grow. The whole process will be managed and taken care of by the agency so that the IPs and the Surrogate feel in control, protected and enjoy the journey.
It is important to understand and respect the reasons that different families choose different family creating options. It is also important to understand that there are people who cannot have children of their own, either because their body does not allow them to, or sickness took that opportunity away. For those families who were able to conceive naturally, understand that you have been blessed with an opportunity that others do not have.